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 ENGLISH FUN

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dratwister
Hết Chổ Nói
Hết Chổ Nói


Nam
Tổng số bài gửi : 640
Age : 29
Đến từ : Grand Line
Sở thích : Spam
Registration date : 18/05/2007

Bài gửiTiêu đề: ENGLISH FUN   15/11/07, 11:38 pm

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this was included with the product information. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity.

Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Drunken Boys Night 2.5, Football 5.0, Hockey 3.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications.

I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the Uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0.

Please help! Thanks.


A Troubled User

______________________________________________________________


REPLY FROM TECH SUPPORT:

Dear Troubled User,

This is a very common problem that men complain about. It is due to a primary misconception among men. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking that it is merely a Utilities and Entertainment program.

Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its creator to run everything! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and return to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating system files cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than in the original system.

Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under "Warnings: Maintenance/Child Support." I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application program Yes_Dear to alleviate software augmentation.

Having installed Wife 1.0 myself, I also suggest that you read the entire section regarding "General Partnership Faults" (GPFs). "You must assume all responsibility for any faults and problems that occur, regardless of their cause. You will also find that GPFs tend to be somewhat cyclical, occurring approximately 28 days apart. The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. Avoid excessive use of C:\YES_DEAR because ultimately you will have to use the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway. Remember, the system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all GPFs.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but tends to require very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs such as Clean_and_Sweep 3.0, Cook_It 1.5 (which replaces Burn_It 1.0) and Do_Bills 4.2. You must however be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag_Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 should this happen.

WARNING!! *DO NOT* under any circumstances, install Secretary_With_Short_Skirt. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Regards

Tech Support



Được sửa bởi ngày 15/11/07, 11:42 pm; sửa lần 1.
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dratwister
Hết Chổ Nói
Hết Chổ Nói


Nam
Tổng số bài gửi : 640
Age : 29
Đến từ : Grand Line
Sở thích : Spam
Registration date : 18/05/2007

Bài gửiTiêu đề: Re: ENGLISH FUN   15/11/07, 11:40 pm

There are many good reasons why computers should be referred to as she! Here are just a few...........

1.No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.

2.The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

3. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half of your paycheck on accessories for it.

4. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for retrieval.


There are many good reasons why computers should be referred to as he! Here are just a few.......

1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.

2. They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.

3. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer you could have had a better model.

4. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half of the time they ARE the problem.

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tnb4001
..::Quậy nhất làng::..


Nữ
Tổng số bài gửi : 304
Registration date : 17/05/2007

Bài gửiTiêu đề: Re: ENGLISH FUN   16/11/07, 12:40 am

wah, drawister , you come 3 star, congatulate, :))
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dratwister
Hết Chổ Nói
Hết Chổ Nói


Nam
Tổng số bài gửi : 640
Age : 29
Đến từ : Grand Line
Sở thích : Spam
Registration date : 18/05/2007

Bài gửiTiêu đề: Re: ENGLISH FUN   16/11/07, 04:57 pm

But 3 stars don't mean that I spamed much, as you can see, this topic's not spam
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chaosofghost
Rất Tích Cực


Nam
Tổng số bài gửi : 255
Age : 30
Đến từ : Từ 1 nơi rất xa mà......tui cũng chưa từng đến
Sở thích : Gamer
Registration date : 18/05/2007

Bài gửiTiêu đề: Re: ENGLISH FUN   17/11/07, 08:00 am

yeah you spam in different topic =))
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dratwister
Hết Chổ Nói
Hết Chổ Nói


Nam
Tổng số bài gửi : 640
Age : 29
Đến từ : Grand Line
Sở thích : Spam
Registration date : 18/05/2007

Bài gửiTiêu đề: Re: ENGLISH FUN   17/11/07, 09:57 am

David Moose kept staring at his computer screen for quite a while. To break the
long pause another guy comes to him and asks, 'Why are you simply staring at
it... why don't you do start working?' He replies, 'Take a look at the
screen...'. The other guy looks and there displayed is the message 'Press any
key to continue'. The man asked 'So what?' David replies replies, 'Look, this
keyboard doesn't have the 'Any' key!...How do I continue now...'

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dratwister
Hết Chổ Nói
Hết Chổ Nói


Nam
Tổng số bài gửi : 640
Age : 29
Đến từ : Grand Line
Sở thích : Spam
Registration date : 18/05/2007

Bài gửiTiêu đề: Re: ENGLISH FUN   17/11/07, 10:02 am

The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent
problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employees home phone
number and was greeted with a child's whispered on the first ring, "Hello?"


Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster
the boss asked, "Is your Daddy home?" "Yes", whispered the small voice. May I
talk with him?" the man asked. To the surprise of the boss, the small voice
whispered, "No."

Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your
Mommy there?" "Yes," came the answer. "May I talk with her?" Again the small
voice whispered "No."

Knowing that it was not likely that a young child
would be left home alone, the boss decided he would just leave a message with
the person who should be there watching over the child.

"Is there any one
there besides you?" the boss asked the child. "Yes", whispered the child, "A
policeman." Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss
asked, "May I speak with the policeman?". "No, he's busy," whispered the child.
"Busy doing what?", asked the boss. "Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the
Fireman.", came the whispered answer.

Growing concerned and even worried
as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the ear piece on the phone
the boss asked, "What is that noise?". "A hello-copper.", answered the
whispering voice. "What is going on there?", asked the boss, now alarmed. In an
awed whispering voice the child answered, "The search team just landed the
hello-copper!" Alarmed, concerned and more than just a little frustrated the
boss asked, "Why are they there?" Still whispering, the young voice replied
along with a muffled giggle, "They're looking for me!"

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7113
Hết Chổ Nói
Hết Chổ Nói


Nữ
Tổng số bài gửi : 409
Đến từ : nơi chứa rất nhiều phiền não
Registration date : 18/05/2007

Bài gửiTiêu đề: Re: ENGLISH FUN   17/11/07, 10:10 am

àh há, bắt được tại trận rùi nhá
Dra ăn cắp cái hình của niitstudent.com, right? :D
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dratwister
Hết Chổ Nói
Hết Chổ Nói


Nam
Tổng số bài gửi : 640
Age : 29
Đến từ : Grand Line
Sở thích : Spam
Registration date : 18/05/2007

Bài gửiTiêu đề: Re: ENGLISH FUN   17/11/07, 10:13 am

:-/, cái gì mà ở niitstudent??? cái này trên google thôi mà :D

PS: mà T nói cái hình hả???
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Bài gửiTiêu đề: Re: ENGLISH FUN   Today at 01:44 pm

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ENGLISH FUN
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